Nothing

​I feel nothing most times.

The way people choose to feel everything,

I choose to feel nothing.

Not the confusion of a boy who isn’t sure he wants me,

Not the confusion of a girl who does.

I choose to feel nothing

None of that pain

None of that desire

Instead I chase faraway dreams,

New elations…

I think to myself,

‘This is mine’,

Then I know it won’t be mine.

I think to myself 

‘Maybe I can be yours’,

But I know thinking will get me nothing 

So I choose to feel nothing

Wanting to be yours makes me not mine so I don’t want it.

But If I had to choose 

If I had to pick who

I’m just mine 

Waiting to become yours.

It’ll be nothing till I know I’m yours

Till I know I will be the yes to everything you want,

Everything you desire,

I’ll be yours. But once I’m sure

Till then it is nothing.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

REMEMORY

​  I  do this thing where I trick myself & make myself believe that I haven’t been in love, That I don’t know what it’s like to be driven by that madness. I tell myself that I have never felt so deeply about anything or anyone.  That it is a touch that I have not felt, a house I have not lived in… But when I am honest, when my mind plays no games and I am clear, I remember you. Us. I remember that I loved you. I remember what it was like to be in love. Anything was possible. Everything was real. I remember that there was nothing that could keep me from you, nothing I wouldn’t do or say for your energy on my cheeks, to see laughter in your eyes that I put there. I remember the pain that came with your tears. You made me hate them. What they meant.  They made me useless. But I remember that I was your rock through your pain. I was always what stood between you and your sadness. You were always what stood between me & mine. I remember what it was like to be love...
Read more