Nothing

​I feel nothing most times.

The way people choose to feel everything,

I choose to feel nothing.

Not the confusion of a boy who isn’t sure he wants me,

Not the confusion of a girl who does.

I choose to feel nothing

None of that pain

None of that desire

Instead I chase faraway dreams,

New elations…

I think to myself,

‘This is mine’,

Then I know it won’t be mine.

I think to myself 

‘Maybe I can be yours’,

But I know thinking will get me nothing 

So I choose to feel nothing

Wanting to be yours makes me not mine so I don’t want it.

But If I had to choose 

If I had to pick who

I’m just mine 

Waiting to become yours.

It’ll be nothing till I know I’m yours

Till I know I will be the yes to everything you want,

Everything you desire,

I’ll be yours. But once I’m sure

Till then it is nothing.

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